Get a Moo-ve on, FGW

Trains are really p*ssing me off at the moment. Yesterday I didn't get into work till 10am because a cow got hit by a train near Betchworth. Was funny hearing people phone their bosses and trying to explain though!
At first I was waiting at Farnborough North and was pleased that my normal train, the 7.26, was "only" about 10 minutes late. On Monday and Tuesday it has been 30 minutes and 15 minutes late respectively. Great, I thought, I'll be able to get the minibus and not have to fork out £6 in taxi fares!
Then the bad news when we got to Guildford. It was announced that a cow had been hit by a train near Betchworth and they had to check the track to see if it was safe (the early train had made it through no problem, unbeknown to us, just after the cow met it's demise). So they were terminating the train at Shalford, and anyone for stations beyand there had to get off at Guildford. Great.
The rather posh announcer at Guildford told us to expect a severe delay and that we'd better go via Clapham Junction for Gatwick, Redhill etc. Trouble is, only about 2 trains a day run fast to Clapham, the rest stop at every small station. I was reluctantly making my way towards a slow train when the announcement came that the Gatwick train was just about to arrive! I ran back to the platform I'd just come from, then because they hadn't announced the platform change, we all ran to yet another platform, boarding the rather crowded 3-carriage train.
So we were now running about 45 minutes late, but I was pleased that we were underway. The usual group of us that sit together kept an eye out for bits of dead cow etc by the railway side. We met with more friends at Betchworth station, who had been told the accident was at Shalford. Turned out they were the ones who were misinformed, as we slowed down and stopped next to the stricken train itself shortly afterwards. We were then told to move out of the front carriage to make room for the 200-odd people from the irreparably-damaged train who would shortly be joining us. Some people in orange jackets then propped an ordinary wooden ladder against a door and, very slowly, the grim-faced passengers from the cow train got on. Apparently they'd been there since 7.15, ie two and a half hours. One lady was noticeably pregnant so I gave up my seat for her, then Peter kindly offered his seat to me! At least us passengers had some sense of decency. It would have been nice to have been informed of the likely length of our rescue mission, maybe it would have been quicker to go via Clapham after all. As we trundled past the train we saw a very dead black cow in the bucket of a JCB, still by the side of the railway. The rest of the herd were well away from the fence, but still in the same field, poor things.
To cap it all we were kept waiting outside Redhill for a platform!!
Apparently this was on Radio 1 - I hope FGW and the farmer were suitably ashamed.